On Self Crush


By Chukwukwe Eugenia Adaku

Wrap yourself in a blanket of pleasures. It’s okay to burrow beneath quilts of sadness and maybe duvets of anger, but learn when it’s time to throw those covers away. Find people who make you happy. Find things that make you happy. Rediscover old pleasures and find new ones. Don’t always hide yourself under piles of emotions that exhaust you. Sleep and wake up to sheets of happiness.
Unhinge yourself from negativity that’s causing you hangups. Break the reigns of the past that are holding you back. Detach yourself from everything that’s weighing you down. It’s time to cross the bridge, sweetie. You need not to be afraid of the other side. There is more to life that those hatred and pain you’ve nurtured inside you. Let them through. Don’t block them. Let them flow out of you.
Touch yourself with patience and love. Shed away those layers of self-hatred. Soak yourself in a bath of dreams,
hopes, triumphs, and love. It’s time you stand in front of a mirror and appreciate every detail about you.
Shower yourself with forgiveness for the times you scratched your body with hateful words. Take good care of yourself and be selfish every once in a while. Love people without compromising yourself.
You don’t need people telling you that everything will be okay, that things will eventually turn out just fine. You need to work on that, sweetie. Those things weren’t laid upon your feet. You need to work your ass out to make things turn out just fine. You need to trust yourself with this one, for there won’t be any help that’s going to come your way if you won’t help yourself first.
Repeatedly put on a playlist of comfort and serenity. Entrance yourself with things that give you a good kind of ache in your chest. Stop constantly playing tapes of bitter memories, vile words, and weary thoughts. Doing so wouldn’t do you much good. They only further smash your soul and heart. Treat yourself to an afternoon of
soothing songs.

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