On relationships expectations

On relationships expectations

Chukwukwe Eugenia Adaku


We all have this vision on how a relationship with our future lover should be. We have all the things that we wanted to do and all the words that we wanted to say. We have planned all the vacations that we would like to have and even the smallest things such as what food we should eat for dinner or how to dress up on your first dinner date. We wanted it to be the forever kind. That relationship which all of those people would be happy about. That relationship which will prove that forever does exist. We wanted it to be open to everybody yet private enough for both of you to share. We wanted it to be something great because we have spent a very long time just to have something like it that is why when we have held it in our hands, we don’t want to let it go…
We all have our own idea of our perfect relationship. All the twists and turns, what to do on a certain moment, what to say, how to act and other things. We may ask for pieces of advice from others but what will always prevail
will be that idea on our heads on how it should be. But then there are times that this particular idea on our head on how every little thing should be taking place is what ruins everything. Because of this, we begin to expect, we begin to visualize everything according to our plan that when things didn’t turn our way, we get disappointed on everything that we end up hurting our lover including ourselves. We begin to think that they are nothing because they could not make our fantasies into realities. We begin to take them for granted just because they are real.
We shouldn’t be like that. When we are in a relationship, all those fantasies and expectations should be thrown away. We should focus on what’s real, on what’s in front of us. We should forget all our rules and that image in our head on how everything should be. We should start to do anything to make everything work out. Because in the end, none of your fantasies and wishful thoughts will ever matter if the one you love walked away from you just because you are living in a nonexistent world.


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