Forgive yourself, always

by

Chukwukwe Eugenia Adaku

Forgive yourself for finding it hard to get out of your bed this morning and taking too long inside the bathroom as you dread everything that’s going to happen for the day.

Forgive yourself for drinking too much coffee that you suffer from palpitations all the time. Forgive yourself for losing sleep too much. Forgive yourself for feeling the need for that seventh stick of cigarette when you swore that the sixth one was the last. Forgive yourself for all the things that you have to do just for you to calm down. Forgive yourself for not healing that easily and for destroying all your efforts to move on by dialling that number again just to admit your longing.

Forgive yourself for writing all the same old things and for reading those long conversations that you held on for too long. Forgive yourself for always going back
to the past just to take a glimpse of what has been and for that part of you that still wishes for all of it to happen all over again. Forgive yourself for still loving the ones who have hurt you. Forgive yourself for breaking your own heart. Forgive yourself for all the wrong decisions that you have made. Forgive yourself for all the regrets that got piled up on your doorsteps. Forgive yourself for not being enough that they walked out of your life.
Forgive yourself for leaving when you couldn’t take everything anymore. Forgive yourself for digging your old scars and making them bleed again.

Forgive yourself for hurting others by not saying goodbye. Forgive yourself for not loving yourself enough. Forgive yourself for wanting to be someone else. Forgive yourself for not knowing your own worth. Forgive yourself for throwing your key of happiness to the ones who didn’t do anything but gave you pain. Forgive yourself for not knowing how to start again. Forgive yourself for not knowing how to forgive yourself. No matter what happens, forgive yourself. Because the world is constantly changing and everyone is always leaving and in the end, you will only have you and nothing more. So forgive yourself for all the mistakes that you have done and everything that you never intended to do but ended up doing anyway.

Forgive yourself for the chaos and storms. Simply, forgive yourself. And you will find your way to your inner peace and everything that will make you feel better.
©Aecons

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