I attended a program in a Catholic church once on invitation by a friend and I can tell you that it was one of the toughest days of my life!
One moment, we are all seated, then priest says one word and we have to go down on knees, then he says another and we are standing up, and yet another one again and we are back on our knees, then we are standing up at the next word and the circle went on and on until I was leaking from sweat like a broken pipe! And my trouser and feet were covered with dust because I had to pull off my shoes to kneel properly.
At a point, I began to think that I was at a military drilling exercise and I began to wonder when and how I got recruited into the army without my knowledge.
I may not have too much problems with that since it will only last for a while, but then, if a man is going to tell me to kneel down and seat up and stand several times in a row, then at least be gracious enough to say it in a language I understand not to hide it in a coded matrix or some barely audible mumbles and I have to be relying helpless on the motions of the other people to know what I have to do next.
The other part of it that totally compounded my situation was how the priest will only say some two or three words and everyone will start quoting out of heart some phrases or sentences and I’m completely lost because I have no idea what they are saying and I feel like the odd one. It was humiliating.
The end of the service was to my ears like what fried tasty chicken was to the mouth! It was like the announcement of a lottery in which I’ve won a million dollars!
At the end of the service or is it mass they call their own, my friend told me something and I still hold it against him till this day. This dude didn’t ask if I enjoyed the service or what it went for me, No! But he said! “Kelvin I can see that you enjoyed the mass”
What?? Such level of arrogance in one person, to brazenly assume and decide for me my own perception of an experience without inquiring from me!
So I just told him, “well I can’t say, ermm but why do we have to kneel down and seat up so often.. Don’t you think it’s too stressful”
He laughed mockingly and told me that I didn’t have to do all of that since I’m only attending the program and not a member. And I replied “oh really, but you should have told me before we got inside”. He apologized and said ” OK no problems, but next time you should remember that ”
Dude even had the effrontery and temerity to decide again for me that there would be a next time in all this “trials and tribulations” I’ve just been put through.
I went home and nurtured pains in parts of my joints for nearly three days.
No wonder I’m yet to meet a member of the catholic church that is overweight! The exercises they do almost on daily basis in church will keep anyone in good shape!