OAU Awards: List of People That Should Have Gotten Awards

By: Gracious Egedegbe, CEO at Grand Crack. Call him The Gray. He does plenty of poems, a bit of article and drama, and quite a number of stories.

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solely responsible for this post or uploads. Pengician will not be held responsible.
NB: This article was first posted on Escolamag.com

Awards So Hot Inc organised an OAU Awards Competition and no one is complaining… why? Well, I won’t keep quiet. I have organised a list of people that should have gotten awards. I know the competition is over but “na in case of next time”.

1. Great Ife Bus I know I said people but really this bus deserves an award. Till now, no one is certain about all the details. Price range for the bus is within 2.5 million naira and 3 million naira. Imagine that a single bus can put the entire great Ife students into confusion. And it is a common 14-seater; imagine it was a coaster bus! Abeg, the bus deserves an award.Those that also painstaking searched for and bought the bus also deserve an award (yes, just oneaward, they’ll share it). Imagine that they bought a bus of 1.5 million or even 1 million, God forbid! Great Ifedeserves a small but mighty bus. Small in size and output but mighty in cost price.In case you are trying to make sense of the cost price, lemme offeran explanation. The bus was bought at 2.5 million (with abeg). They painted the bus – 100,000, they inscribed the words you see on it – 100,000, they bought fuel for the bus – 100,000 and finally they had toimport a professional driver to driveit to Ife – 100,000. At the end, total cost was 2.9 million. But Great Ife needs a round figure so they announced 3 million. Besides, guys go chow for road na…

2. EFCC:
EFCC deserves an award for constant vigilance. I mean, they have been monitoring the School’s financial transactions that when Pa Elu-Ijoba decided to settle boys, they sprang into action. No time to check time. Instead of Pa Elu-Ijoba to simply allow those people to go on strike, he decided to pay them – thereby, denying us of our yearly strike. Who does that? Throughout his tenure, there was no strike. No even one!Some thought Pastor Omole who was General Overseer for about fiveyears will be in their net but look at God! Pastor Omole was a man with divine wisdom. Pa Elu-Ijoba failed tolearn from Pastor Omole now EFCC is making him pay for his crimes. Please give EFCC an award jare, theydeserve it.

3. Leftists (?) (I’m not sure of who they are; let’s just call them leftists). The great leftists of OAU deserve at least one award to share. Those guys have been agitating for better welfare. Schooling in OAU is tough. So students have to rest from time to time. Leftists ensure that we get mid-semester breaks every semester. They deserve an award for that.Now the current crop of leaders hasrefused to agitate for better welfare- including a mid-semester break. Next thing we heard was thatthey carried out a strike in the Student Union building. The PRO said they carried out the strike on his clothes and door. About the phone, it was probably too small to strike so they sold it instead. Besides, after striking, guys need to chow small bread and beans.

4. Security at MaintenanceOnly recently I heard some hostels in maintenance were robbed. I mean, that is the first time I would hear such. The security men there deserve an award. They allowed what everyone thought impossible to happen. I mean, how do male robbers invade a female-exclusive area and no one could stop them. I guess it was the boredom. It was time to liven things up so the security men created loopholes.It is not easy to create loopholes in an area like maintenance – those guys deserve an award. I mean, if you see the way they treat guys once it is past 10 pm, you will understand the tight security.

5. Buharry:
I must say that the organisers of theaward are not patriotic. If they were, they would have given an award to Buharry. I mean, he is doing what others tried but failed at.You know the way prices are going up. He has a family to feed – wife and children. At the same time, he has to take care of his health. He needed a job that would take care of himself and his family without working. That’s why he ran for presidency.One guy tried it before him but “omo, na dead body come back o”. But this man is strong and smart. Please give him an award.They say sharing is caring; oya show some care.

Source: Escola Magazine

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