SIR A-ONE Weaving of Words (Volume 5)
“I have said this time(s) without number for the sake of peace.
I date miss;
And no Mrs. can have my kiss.”
“You’re speaking now.
You spoke yesterday;
Is not a guarantee that you’re a Spokesman.”
“Take me to cloud nine,
Earth is mine;
I will still hunger for more immediately after the ejaculat*on.”
“We have too many literary critics in Africa;
Very few political critics,
No wonder the continent is emersed in corruption.”
“Going from house to house is for the so-called witnesses.
Moving from one man to another is for the prostitutes.
Looting upon looting is mainly for the Black politicians.
Weaving lines upon lines is for Word weavers.
In all, they are never satisfied with one lover.”
“I’m not a man-pleaser;
I’m a God-pleaser,
No wonder I’m too foolish for your liking.”
“You might be smashingly beautiful;
But, beauty without knowledge is equivalent to nothing meaningful on earth.”
“My worst moment so far?
When I lost my dad.
My best moment so far?
When pengician.com & widestforum.com were born on the blogosphere.”
“I’m not imitating anybody.
Why should I when I’m like an ocean of creativity?”
“At the front of my Literary shrine, there is a signpost:
SIR A-ONE LITERARY SHRINE
“A good blogger would know that blogging is a long-term investment.”
“My quotes are all scattered on the blogosphere. Just waiting for that reasonable publisher that would contact me and thereafter gather(ed) them in a hardcopy.”
“I can play with words and your buttocks will tremble to the musicality of my weaving of words.”
“I’m a player.
I’m just a word-player.
Mine is not on the field.
My writing pad plus pen and paper.”
“I’m not yet hundred;
But my creativity they dread.
Like the imaginary unicorn, they wink at my horn-dread.”
“Empty barrels do usually make the loudest noise. I’m not bothered anymore when Tom and Jerry and the likes bombard Facebook with write-ups seeking for likes and cheap comments.”
“I should be sent packing from this planet if I fail to make love to my dreams and ambitions.”
“World Fact Book said
‘A chicken loses its feathers when it becomes stressed.’
I’m beginning to imagine what we do lose when we are stressed up as humans.”
“Focus and determination are not enough.
Sacrifice and risk should top it as well.”
“Fake dream chasers are just too in a hurry to make it.”
“If I’m running to win a bread from a loaf seller, why am I not qualified to be called a breadwinner?”
“No matter the situation and circumstance, the one that deflowered a woman will always be free in her memory, whether she is married or not.”
“Some superstars are not as pompous as you see them. Just the single fact that you cannot measure up with them again backbite your mind.”
“You should be Happy that people are talking about you. It means you’re a Very Important Personality (VIP) in the society.”
” ‘Send your number’
is the sweetest thing to many ladies. They don’t care to know the ambiguity in it. Within a blink of an eye, you will see their account number in your inbox.”
“Ladies love s*x more than men. They are just too shy to ask for it. Even the married ones are guilty of it.”
“Too many self acclaimed writers on Facebook. They have ‘Faces’ and ‘Books’ no wonder they usually end up in Facebook.”
“Give me good food.
Give me good writing gadget.
Give me good breathing space.
Minutes later, you will be surprised at the result of the script that will follow.”
“Up and coming icons are usually very noisy in their posts. No wonder barrels that are filled to the brim make less noise when banged.”
“Tom and Jerry banged into each other same way I banged into my Muse.”
“Nothing feels good as when your dreams are being achieved.
But it feels better when you help someone else to achieve theirs.”
“I’m just a homeless blogger and writer. No place to call a home. The blogosphere is my real home.”
“Nothing attract people into your life like real success.
And nothing chase people away from you like complete failure.
People just love good things. That’s all.”
“It has been raining cats and dogs of creativities at the Literary shrine.”
“Where do you expect a homeless person to do his homework?
Please, take that as a rethorical question.”
“I once republished a post for one individual, I later went to his inbox to surprise(d) him with the publication link free of charge and he was not happy about it. He rained abuses on me. I unpublished it with joy minutes later.
8 months later, he is begging for me to publish one of his essay for him. In an atmosphere I called his ‘quagmire’, I said to him ‘We only publish things for humble individuals these days.”
“Is a thing of joy to see you go into a relationship. Is another thing to sustain(ed) that affair.”
“A fool at forty (40) cannot change anything again in the journey of life. He is on the part of destruction in the laboratory of life.”
“Most Nigerians are creative only when something terrible is around the corner.
ASUU strike for instance bombarded the blogosphere with so many posts announcing the ‘called off’ only to read to the last line you see something like ‘via cartoon network’; ‘to subscribe send YOU FOOL! to 419.’; ‘You must be a fool for believing ASUU will call off this strike so soon.’ ”
“People will keep downloading your life like an MP3 if you’re not ready to be serious with yourself. They will play you carelessly like music and later make your life to skip here and there like a damaged CD.
Stop bringing everything about your life on the social media. Learn from the failed marriages of superstars whose marriages hit the rock with careless uploads and updates.”
© SIR A-ONE
GOODNEWS Andrew ERUEMUARE also known as SIR A-ONE is a writer and blogger.