Classico by SIR A-ONE

*classico: My variant of classical.

Not poetry. Just bunch of lines (Raptry).






Fully wrapped in a multi-user dungeon,

Now relaxing in the air

Who shall I fear?

Elizabethan or contemporary?


5              Diluted documentaries

Or pure documentaries?

My penmatization

Is far better than their fake dramatization.

My penmatis personae


10           Is more action packed

Than their dramatis pesonae.

My inkhrenheit

Can flash Drive

Their wheels,




15           My ink drive

My driver.

Now my ink is turning me on

I’m pensturbating

At the top of the literary shrine


20           Menstruating my ink to the core

Like an arrogant whore.

Burning the Literary Shrine down

With daily destructive criticisms


25           Home and abroad.

I’m as rough as breaking news

But thanks to my beautiful muse

Who is jailbreaking me out soonest.

My poetic license


30             Is in my vehicle;

With it, I ‘bus the line’

Burst in a ball of poetic flames

Hungry looking poets gazing at me

As if its breakfast time.


Also read 20 random quotes of SIR A-ONE


35           No dinner these days

Situations and circumstances

Surrounding my wallet is far

Too big,

It is even bigger than Nigeria’s problem.


40           Trust me

I’ve seen a lot meaner streets than the

Ones you’re used to.

Security men are here,


45           Come to my street,

Goats mount every nook and cranny.

I think I’m too insane

My literary shrine rat shall maim

Every evil spirit in human clothing.

I was born November 22nd


50           Many years ago

November the dry season!

I was born in a dry season

To reign on Earth.

After my exile


55           Remember me as ‘words innovator’

Or the ‘words coinage master’.

I know I may not be here too long

But after my exit

Many may not be able to eat for about a month


60           Countless will lose thousands of litres

Of water in their eyes.

Heads up

Eyes closed,

Preachers harvesting lies with the sickle


65           Of truth

Ford-driving corruption with no passenger

To talk with, while the journey

Continues in an endless destination

Of pain and regret




70           Carefully laced in the fine pot of deceit

Taking the ark of the covenant

From the Literary Shrine.

Pen robbers

Looting other writers’ lines


75           When no one is there

To summon them for plagiarism.

This is sensitive and highly classified.

‘I live in a world that does not play

By critics’ rules!’


80           He boasted.

Stupidest Penlord to ever live

He broke the line.

My pen worth

Falling out of the plane for.


85           Wounding words from my pen

Murderous pen man

Murderous sex man

Are from same planet.

The pain from my lines


90           Can cause cancer of the uterus

And lead to death in pool of blood.

Praise and ululation are not cousins.

Hmm, my lines are flames that

Will consume my rivals,


Here is Eight (8) Ways to stay Focused and Productive in the Journey of Life by SIR A-ONE


95           No drumming can drown my lyrics

Because no matter the noise of the flies,

The butcher must surely sharp the knife

For his business.

I do not think of umbrella


100         Before the rain threatens

When I lead my goat

I stay behind it.

A man with short knickers

Means he carries half thoughts.


105         I set my traps

To catch spirits.

I gave birth to my parents.

I am that I am not.

Traditionalism placed in the fine pot of modernity


110         That is me.

The Rural-Urban Poet!

That is what I go by

No matter the foolish idea

You are selling


115         I’m not buying.

Some individuals are senselessly wise.

Paying performers some honoraria

Is my gospel.

Animosity giving rise to bewitching


120         Pengicians who are dormants

In this classico fight

No victors,

No victims.

My warship


125         They now worship.

Their transgressions

Is now a deadly repercussion.

Thanks for listening, my Dear.


130         And I mean it,

I will deliver this lecture

With no blood stains,

No midwife’s help

No auxiliary nurse’s assistance.


135         Give me only three minutes

Let me make it rain

From dusk till dawn

With thunderous thunder and lightning

Uprooting roofs


140         And rendering people homeless, with

Refugee camps

With no adequate care

From the bad government.

Real conflict is that between


145         Man and fate.

Fake conflict is that between

Man and himself.

At this point in time

I know I’m literarily drunk,


150         God, please, take the wheel

No bully

But I will bake you to satisfaction

Hold the table and let’s get in action

Delay is Dangerous (D.I.D).


155         I’m in love with this government,

Best government ever!

Hunger catapulting individuals to their sepulchres

Mass burials for military and bloody civilians

who lost their lives in the vineyard


160         Of serving their good land.

No ransom whatsoever

From anywhere.

When shall we stand up to mister corruption?

When shall the positive change come


165         And possess the land?

And mount the wheel of progress for us all

Homeless beggars

Begging for that single change.

Change is change


170         He roars.

The opposition concluded

In a low key.

Transformation the former ruling club sworn

Time for the sword to display came


175         The opposition sweep the hall with malpractice

Is this the change we clamour for?

Now you are the Boss of the Bosses

What next?

Building castles in the space


180         Painting the invisible portrait

For poor masses to weep and groan

In the agony of change.

We don’t need that kind of negative change,

We need a positive change.


185         The journey continues

The project was a total disaster.

They made me look like a complete fool.

The show was absolute rubbish.

A chemical reaction in me?


190         I might be completely unaware of my transgression

But that does not make me a righteous one.

Handsome smile

Does not make one a kind person.

No one drinks palmwine


195         Same way with palmfuel.

The Literary Shrine is helping me

To rain down the ink;

This time, the flow is as painful as

A virgin’s monthly flow.


200         Now flowing faster than tide

Waiting for no one like Mister TIME.

Ink with a black DNA

Deoxyribonucleic Acid

Pushing me around to pick up people’s children


205         Like truck load of household appliances.

I will keep monitoring you like a familiar spirit.


Trying not to lament

Pastor at pulpit prophesying bunch of lies.


210         Witch Doctor claiming to know one’s tiles

Extremists misinterpreting scriptures.

Lies everywhere

No more ‘To whom it may concern’

As I’m about smashing this critic’s


215         Head against the publication rock

God, please, have mercy

Call me Messi

Call me Mercy Johnson, sorry,

Call me Johnson Mercy.

Contact Pengician
Contact Pengician

220         Daily literary gymnastic

Over stressing the mental faculty

Like a gym instructor

Repeating commands like a computer Instructor

Mounting the pen-pit


225         Like a pilot to his cork-pit

I’m literarily fit.

Android flow

Always multitasking literary programmes.

I am that I am not.


230         The arrogant you spat on my face

The deflowered blood on my white lace

Corruption is still your suit case

The pride you showcase,

May Chinua Achebe elongate your penhood


235         Longer than your very height.

See the desperate power-seekers

With empty promises.

Building bridges were there is no water.

The golden voice is here!


240         Chase your dreams

And see them shoot into space.

Butterfly and Bird are not cousins,

Kite and grasshopper are not related.

I’m so cold-hot


245         Even your oven

Is afraid of my literary coven.

Like a wizard confessing

I’m full of inkful things to say.

Keep eating


250         My pen I’m forking.

Opposition wiping away incumbent,

This is so Mouka and Vita than my blood.

Like Pamlwine tapper

Wrapping his climbing rope all over himself,


255         Same way I’m dwelling at the Literary Shrine

Every time of the day.

The war against drugs and cultism continues!

Jibrin Idris’ Picture of Dorothy and Danladi

Is even clearer than 3D.


260         This is the highest definition

Of a true pengician

Who possesses a brilliant pencraft

That is more powerful and inkful

Than any witchcraft ever.


265         Like a cobbler

I urge us all to shine our eyes

As a new voice ‘SIR A-ONE

Sprout out of the shores of Africa.

Soon, they will accuse me of *Usigho


270         I’m an *Ovigho

In the making,

They are just dirts I’m raking

All thanks to God, my creative manufacturer


275         I keep driving as the true penufacturer.

I am that I am not,

I am the Classico.

Weaving lines

Daily is my occupation.





*Classico:            Classical. SIR A-ONE’s variant.

*Ovigho:                              An Urhobo word for wealthy man.

*Usigho:                              Blood money.

*Penufacturer: An Ink addict. A creative Icon.

*Mouka:                              A type of mattress/foam in Nigeria.

*Palmfuel:          An acidic palm wine. An almost soured one that can cause pain than gain to the body system.

*Pengician:         An established writer, humourist and artiste. Coined by SIR A-ONE.

*Penstruating:  Bleeding of the ink upon papers creatively.

*Inkhrenheit:    The measurement of one’s creativity literarily. Coined by SIR A-ONE.

*Penmatization:               Casting your creative personae in a work of creativity     . Coined by SIR A-ONE.




Goodnews Andrew Eruemuare also known as SIR A-ONE is a Nigerian pengician, researcher and rapper. The CEO of

A very controversial icon anytime, any day.

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